What is Havening, and Can It Rewire Your Brain?

If you’ve ever tapped your forehead during EFT, breathed like a dragon in yoga, or cried while staring into your therapist’s eyes, you already know: healing doesn't always happen through logic. Sometimes it happens through touch. Through presence. Through the body, remembering safety.

Enter: Havening, a soft, weirdly powerful, neuroscience-backed technique that’s helping people regulate their nervous systems, reduce anxiety, and finally feel safe in their skin.

At Reframing You, we’re constantly exploring cutting-edge, trauma-informed tools, especially ones that feel like a gentle hug for your brain. So let’s talk about what Havening is, how it works, and why it just might be your new go-to self-regulation practice.

What Is Havening?

Havening is a psychosensory technique that uses gentle, self-applied touch to help the brain process traumatic memories, reduce distress, and rewire emotional responses.

The word comes from the idea of creating a “haven”, both externally (through touch) and internally (through neurochemical shifts). It was developed by Dr. Ronald Ruden and his brother Steven Ruden, based on the understanding of how trauma gets encoded in the brain.

The process usually involves stroking the arms, face, or hands, while combining it with affirmations, visualisation, or memory recall. It’s calming. It’s weird. And it works.

The Neuroscience Behind Havening

Here’s what’s going on when you stroke your arms like a self-soothing cat:

Electrochemical Encoding: Traumatic or highly emotional memories get encoded in the brain, specifically in the amygdala, with intense neurochemical charge. That’s why they trigger you later.

Delta Waves & Sensory Input: When you engage in the slow, repetitive motion of having, your brain generates delta waves, the same ones we produce in deep, restful sleep. These waves help decouple the distress from the memory.

Neuroplasticity in Action: Havening shifts your brain into a neuroplastic state, where it can unlearn associations (like “loud voice = danger”) and replace them with new, safer ones.

Touch = Oxytocin + Serotonin: The tactile part activates the parasympathetic nervous system, releasing calming neurochemicals like oxytocin and serotonin, making the brain more receptive to healing.

In other words: Havening creates the biological conditions for safety, so your emotional brain can finally let go.

How to Do Self-Havening

You don’t need a therapist to get started. Just your hands, your breath, and a willingness to look a little silly (or deeply self-loving, depending on your vibe).

Here’s how:

1. Pick a Target

Start by bringing up a thought, memory, or emotional state that feels stressful, but not overwhelming.

2. Rate the Intensity

On a scale of 1–10, how distressing does it feel?

3. Apply Havening Touch

Use gentle, downward strokes:

• Across your arms (like a comforting hug)

• Across your cheeks (like a mother might)

• Over your palms (rubbing slowly)

Do this for a few minutes while:

• Counting slowly

• Visualising something calming

• Singing or saying affirmations (“I am safe now”)

4. Check In

Re-rate the intensity. Often, people notice a decrease within minutes.

It’s like watching the emotional charge melt, and what’s left is peace.

Who Is Having For?

It’s been used with:

• Trauma survivors

• People with anxiety or panic disorders

• Kids and teens who feel emotionally dysregulated

• Anyone navigating PTSD, grief, or emotional triggers

• Clients with attachment wounds, especially avoidant/anxious types

You don’t need a diagnosis to benefit. You just need a nervous system that wants a break.

Havening vs. Tapping (EFT): What’s the Difference?

Both are psychosensory tools that use touch to rewire the brain. But:

• EFT uses acupressure points and focuses on clearing energetic blocks

• Havening uses smooth touch and focuses on delta waves + trauma de-linking

Try both. Mix them up. See what lands best for your body.

Reframing You’s Take on Havening

At Reframing You, we integrate nervous system regulation into everything, whether we’re talking about trauma, relationships, personality disorders, or even polyamory. Tools like Havening are powerful because they don’t rely on talking it out; they speak directly to your

somatic intelligence.

It’s not about suppressing your pain. It’s about giving your brain new evidence that you’re safe now.

FAQs

Is Havening scientifically proven? Yes, studies show significant reductions in PTSD, anxiety, and depression symptoms. It’s also used by mental health professionals, coaches, and even first responders.

Do I need a practitioner? You can do it on your own. But certified Havening practitioners can guide you through more complex trauma safely.

Is it safe for trauma survivors? Yes, but always move at your own pace. If something feels too intense, pause. Havening should feel calming, not overwhelming.

How often should I do it? There’s no strict rule. Daily practice can help regulate your nervous system, especially during stressful periods.