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Writer's pictureReframing You

How To Let Go Without Closure

Updated: Aug 24, 2023


How to Let Go Without Closure

The incentive and desire for closure are not confined to romantic relationships. Other examples of painful endings include the death of a loved and relished one, or the loss of a career, position, or way of life. It can be tough to truly let go and relinquish something that was once significant to you, and many people seek closure in doing so. But does it work? And can you truly expect others to provide you with closure? When people desire closure the greatest, it is usually because the incident is essential to them, bearing special significance and denotement. As an example, consider a divorce. If the answer is that your partner want to terminate the relationship to begin another, you may find closure without further explication.


However in the world of social media, where people are often “ghosted” – where someone simply disappears from contact without any explanation – feelings are left unresolved and can deeply affect our mental health. Although it is essential to some threshold for most people, not every individual has the same desire for closure. People who have a vigorous need for closure have a high endurance for uncertainty. They are compulsive persons who crave order, regulations, and predictability. They require exceedingly well-defined reality structures. They can also be authoritative and opinionated because they believe they know the "right way" to accomplish things. They tend to be politically and convivially conservative. People who have a lesser need for closure, on the other hand, are more creative and have a higher tolerance for dubiousness and uncertainty aka surprise. They are more impulsive and have more cognitive complexity. Furthermore, their greater cognitive flexibility allows them to shift and adapt more easily in confusing or contradictory situations


Finally, there are those who feel compelled to avoid closure. In a nutshell, they would much rather not know what happened. This is due to their conviction that the explanation will cause them more harm than simply not comprehending.


But what precisely can you do? In actuality, if you are seeking closure for a loss that doesn't have there is no explanation, you have no alternative but to give up the notion of ever getting one. It's difficult, unappealing and unjust... But, if you think about it, you'll recognize it's also good for you.


After all, the alternative would be to be imprisoned in an unremitting circle of self-interrogation. You'd be wondering why for the rest of your life. You have to quit doing it at some time. You must proceed.


When we've been harmed in the past and the person never apologized or even acknowledged our suffering, we're often left with an unsatisfied yearning for affirmation. That's right, you're not just yearning for them or their apology, you're yearning for that validation of your pain, something you've likely been denied before. After walking the difficult journey of sorrow and dealing with emotions such as sadness, guilt, and rage, your goal should now be acceptance. To accept what happened, you must let go of all the burdens that have been keeping you back. These involve your quest for answers as well as an explanation. Holding onto the pain is you subconsciously still seeking for closure, because the pain is the only thing still allowing you to ruminate. Acceptance and allowing yourself to let go of the pain is how you can close the door.

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gurucharanam216
14 aug. 2023
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Very impactful, frankly therapeutic


Looking back there are so many open emotional wounds, realised how closure is the solution


Genuinely useful information ! Loved the blog !


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