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How to be secure if you have an avoidant attachment style


Fears, emotional requirements, and vulnerable experiences may still exist in avoidant individuals. However, as opposed to stating their wants and needs, they could decide to disregard them. They may prefer to stay single or date persons who do not seek long-term relationships.


An avoidant attachment personality may be content to live without a close intimate relationship. They may also be self-confident and prefer to soothe themselves rather than accepting others into their personal spaces to assist them. However, this condition can lead to feelings of isolation or sadness.


Avoidant persons may not have had an enduring connection to their the caregivers since dismissive-avoidant attachment is an insecure attachment style. Their caregivers could have been neglectful or inconsistent.


Although avoidant children's emotional needs were not satisfied, they may have learnt to care for their families, avoid others, and lack trust. As a result, they may feel alone, emotionally unobtainable, and unprepared to commit.


The intriguing thing about avoidant attachment type is that it has the same underlying need as all other attachment styles: a need for Love and connection.


However, you never learnt how to achieve or embody Love and connection in healthy ways. Represent your inner child by tending to their scars, wants, and boundaries. Implement self-regulation activities such as breathwork, affirmations, and self-regulation exercises. Make dispute resolution agreements with your relationship (for example, take space when needed and return after regulating).


People who struggle with avoidant attachment can struggle with or have these emotional triggers :


  • A partner wanting to get too close

  • A partner wants to open up emotionally

  • Unpredictable situations or feeling out-of-control

  • Having to be dependent on others

  • Feeling like the relationship is taking up too much of their time

  • Being criticized by their loved ones

  • Feeling like they’re going to be judged for being emotional

  • Their partner being demanding of their attention

Take personal space when you need it One thing that probably won’t change for an avoidant attacher in a relationship is their need for personal space – and that’s OK. Taking emotional space in a relationship when a conflict is starting to escalate is probably the constructive thing to do, and it may even help the relationship to grow.

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Rated 5 out of 5 stars.

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Great work, best wishes

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